asking kids to set their own rules, and then help them stick to those rules is really a much better way than setting rules as a parent without letting the kids have any input. children do have the ability to think and understand what is reasonable. they know that they need to get enough sleep so they are not tired in the morning, etc. so working with them to work out what is reasonable can really empower them and in particular open up an avenue to renegotiate rules that they themselves have chosen.