Ask HN: What advice would you have given your younger 20-year-old self? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What advice would you have given your younger 20-year-old self?

12 pointsi5heu27 comments

Having friends/a good network is a lot more important than academic success. Both for personal fulfilment and for getting a job in future.

Also that becoming a YouTube/Twitch creator is easiest when in university/before you have a full time job with bills to pay, and that you should probably take advantage of that. I kinda regret being so focused on writing rather than creating videos to be honest...

Yes, I was going to say put work into friendships. After very many years it's a habit I regret I did not gain.

Take it easy, take everything slower, enjoy the process and send dad to the hospital after the first stroke no matter how much he fights.

Run out from exUSSR, to West, as fast as possible. And as far as possible.

You will not prove anything to others. Soon you will just trying to survive.

Go travel. But… you don’t really like backpacking, always moving and 6am starts and getting drunk like all the other travellers, and meeting people is hard so instead travel as a geek: find tech conferences to go to, meet other nerds. Rip up those Lonely Planet books and just ask for recommendations (special experiences that need to be booked excepted!)

I would probably do more chill holidays like yoga retreats.

Live in a big city too. Too many small minded people otherwise. Sorry HNers excepted!

More than all of that: dump toxic relationships super fast: you know somethings up just jettison that shit. Only exception is your kids. No one else gets unconditional! Change phone numbers if you have to, etc.

Don't spend 90% of your time alone in your room doing nothing. Don't assume you have infinite time to do whatever you want at some point. You will never be more free than you are right now, so spend that time doing whatever you can to make your mark on the world and maximize every part of you possible, even if its tough. You will feel far better than following your instinct to take it easy.

Personally I would say to my 20 year old self, (I'm about to turn 30):

Write more code, lean into it, don't avoid it. (I have a masters in mechanical engineering, but I ended up writing code anyway in a tech company.)

Do more public speaking. (I still get unreasonably anxious about this and I feel like I suck at it)

Stick to hobbies and exercise (I'm a perpetual beginner in several things, I am not consistent at practicing guitar, or at rock climbing, two things I love and would like to be better at. It's generally more enjoyable to be somewhat decent at things.)

Read more books (and make 1 in 10 of those a fiction book, I read too much non-fiction business/technical/startup books)

Do more online courses (It took me ages to finally get around to doing things, I completed CS50x and some FreeCodeCamp stuff and I enjoyed it a learned a lot.)

- Be here, now.

- Practice enjoying the process itself. Forget the outcome for a while.

- Practice non-reaction. Just observe.

- It's better to do nothing than squeezing in a quick task in that 15 min break.

I would advice me the following: "You are about to finish your army duties any day now...take your time, don't rush yourself for work or university, go find a job, preferably in craft category, and take a taste what society is all about. After your clear your mind, take your time to decide where you want to direct your attention...and please, stay away from relationships; it does not work for you, no matter how hard you try! Now, off you go, enjoy life!"

Stop trying to impress others, especially attractive potential future partners.

Being focused on building a career and the consequent hedonic treadmill is a trap you will regret.

- Marry that girl sooner.

- Think bigger.

- Don’t over-save.

- Don’t worry about what people think.

- Be better to people.

There's no way I would have been able to get through to him... he was convinced that the world was against him, personally.

None that he would accept, I don't think; he was not much for listening to anyone's advice, and the deep disappointment he would certainly feel about the path my life has taken would probably motivate him to do the opposite of whatever I suggested.

You are capable of dealing with most bad events. Very few situations are truly life-ruining.

get rid of the people who slow you down because they just are!

don't talk to stranger idiots. They'll pull you down to their level and beat you by experience.

*don't expect something from others. Do it yourself.

To add to this: Don't waste your time trying to convincing idiots on internet. (But listen broadly and keep the good and discard the bad.)

Try different things. You never know what you end up liking.

Try not being born into the working class next time.

And if you're born middle or higher, pursue the arts - that's what your 20s are for.

"Have at it. You'll screw up. It's life. Live simply and you'll be fine."

Don't date that cute blond from the bar, she's crazy. Let people help you.

Sorry to be a pedant, but if she's uses female pronouns, then it's "blonde" not "blond"

yep.sticky e key...and my typing leaves something to be desired.

Don’t complicate things

Unless absolute necessary

Don't think, just build.

Go to the gym.

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