Comment by tstegart | Hacker News Reader

Comment by tstegart | Hacker News Reader

This is great, I left NYC for many of the same reasons the OP cites as wanting to move there. Really, I should write a post on "Why I'm choosing the Midwest"

NYC has so many women. Beautiful women. But if you're looking to have kids, settle down and move away to where your kid has his own lawn to play on, your odds drop close to zero. So many people date in NYC, so few commit for the rest of their lives. I was so naive when I moved there at 26, I thought I would be married within a year. All my friends had gotten married while still in college. NYC just ain't the place.

Lack of a commute? Yes, but add in the time to get everywhere else. That party in Brooklyn? An hour. Finding somewhere, anywhere, where buildings don't dot the horizon and you feel at peace? Try a few hours. Enjoy the subway construction my friend.

I will say that NYC kills when it comes to food. Its the best, unless you're trying to find a nice cheap bratwurst, then NYC sucks it up big time. But the Midwest makes up for it. I have a canoe, a giant deck bigger than my NYC apt with a grill on it and streets that get plowed. Midwest, I think you win.

I think this gets to the point of why these debates are useless when talking on a personal level- everyone is different.

I'm 28, and I still don't want to get married. I have no problem with buildings dotting the horizon (when I want to leave the city, I fly away somewhere far, far away. Or go to Prospect Park). So, I probably wouldn't care too much for the Midwest. Everyone is different.

You're right. Funnily enough, Prospect Park was where I realized I didn't like it there. I was enjoying a good run in the park with my roommate and telling her how great it was. Then I realized the only reason I was happy was that the park was completely empty: it was 10 o'clock at night and a downpour had just happened.

> So, I probably wouldn't care too much for the Midwest.

Hey, we have Chicago in the midwest you know. I'd wager more people here, as a percentage, live in skyscrapers than do in lower Manhattan.

> Its the best, unless you're trying to find a nice cheap bratwurst, then NYC sucks it up big time.

http://maps.google.com/maps/place?q=wechslers+currywurst&...

I said cheap! Sigh, I suppose $7 is cheap for New Yorkers. :) http://www.bratfest.com/brat-411/whats-on-the-menu/

Did find more eligible women looking to get married in Wisconsin?

Yes, I grew up in Wisconsin and lived in Los Angeles for the past ten years. Many of my friends in WI have since married and possibly had kids. Few of my friends in L.A. have done either.

Right, but the question is whether the higher fraction of women who are marriage-minded overcomes the lower absolute number (and density). Have you felt like you've made more progress?

You don't have to answer this highly personal question, of course! It's just that it's likely I'm moving to NYC for my next job, and I'm interested in the prospects.

Ya, the grass is always greener on the other side isn't it? :)

Just out of curiosity, which part of the Midwest do you live in?

Wisconsin. Land of brats, cheese and good canoeing.

I suspect Chicago is Wisconsin's #1 export market for brats and cheese. I love Chicago, but I also love my neighbors to the north. Keep 'em coming. I'll eat more. :-)

So many people date in NYC, so few commit for the rest of their lives

I've found that to be the case in the SF area, as well. A (female) friend moved out to DC. She was shocked at how female acquaintances behaved there. She relayed their statements like, "well, yeah, Larry has some anger problems when he's drinking, but he's a good man." Our shared opinion was that SF suffers from grass-is-always-greener syndrome, where people have been presented with so many options for so long, that they come to believe there is always something (or someone) better to be had.

As always, YMMV, and I can only speak from the experiences of myself and my pool of friends.

I've heard DC women are not as nice compared to the rest of the USA.

So many people date in NYC, so few commit for the rest of their lives.

You just made that up.

Not really, among my age group it was true. In the Midwest many of my friends were getting married in college. In NYC, very few of my friends under 30 were married. In fact, I met more married people under 30 living apart (because it used to be tough to get a divorce in New York) than living together. You're right though, that maybe it should say "so few commit for the rest of their lives at an early age." Most of my friends had absolutely no desire to get married before 30 in NYC.

I should also probably add that my statement shows my cultural biases, namely that being committed means being married. There were many long-term couples in NYC who were together but not married.

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