The difference is that _someone_ is actually implementing the features they're relying on, and those people know the math, understand its importance, and deliberately apply it. I know because I dig through their git commits so I can interview them about their work for my book.
Your argument puts a lot of faith in Haskell. Let me take one path in your example to make this concrete. Rust was influenced by Haskell, how specifically? [1] claims it was mainly in "typeclasses, type families." Picking one randomly, the GHC user guide [2] describes type families as originating from three specific papers, [3], [4], [5], none of which mention category theory (nor does the much longer Haskell Wiki [6]). It seems to suggest, what is obvious to me, that not _all_ features of Haskell are related to category theory.
If every time I trace claims of applied CT I find big holes, how could I possibly believe that so many great ideas that programmers use every day are secretly deliberately based on CT?
There is a deeper discussion to be had here, along the lines of "does it count as an application of math if none of the people doing the applying think about the math." I think the answer is no. Math is a modeling language and if nobody models their problems with it then theorems do nothing. And so, if all of the category theory is lost in the translation from some (perhaps itself far removed) language feature of Haskell and later inspired language design, then that tells me category theory is the _wrong_ modeling language for that design problem. If it were good, and if the resulting theorems were essential and useful, then the practitioners would adopt it. That is a failure of CT.
[1]: https://doc.rust-lang.org/reference/influences.html [2]: https://downloads.haskell.org/ghc/latest/docs/users_guide/ex... [3]: https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/research/wp-content/uploads/... [4]: https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/research/wp-content/uploads/... [5]: https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/research/wp-content/uploads/... [6]: https://wiki.haskell.org/GHC/Type_families