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SQL is the clean interface. Databases are not designed to run your extra business computations, they are there to store and give you access to your data with efficiency and some guarantees. DBMS' are impossible to debug, cannot be shut down like you would with a faulty service node, and locking/crashing the production one can grind your entire company to a halt. The above pattern seems insane to me.

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SQL is specifically designed for "business" computations.

And is wildly misused. (edit: I meant "extra business logic" above, nothing to do with businesses). You commented above with the same thing I said - turns out multiuser DBs are not good for running expensive code beyond the data access stuff, because it interferes with their main job, in ways that are hard to diagnose or mitigate. Aggregation for business computations is fine, cleaning up text with regular expressions is borderline, and procedural code is a disaster waiting to happen. Putting a bunch of functions to hide the SQL in the DB itself to me seems to go against basic norms of how code is developed and deployed as application logic evolves, and not good architecture from risk standpoint either.

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