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Comment by Alupis | Hacker News Reader

Your spouse is incapable of going home and packing a suitcase to assist you simply because they also work? If you can't help out your spouse when needed, then you're not much of a spouse - regardless of your gender, income, roles, etc...

This is a ridiculous take...

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Yes, people can't just leave work to rescue an incompetent spouse at a moments notice because they didn't prepare appropriately for their 24*7 on-call job.

My wife and I both lived this for a while, and we both made some pretty crazy sacrifices and trips to keep each other moving. We were equals and highly committed.

Be realistic - this isn't an every day thing clearly.

If you cannot help your partner during a time of need or emergency - then you're not really partners, are you?

Not everyone, but some can. Presumably there were other ways for non-married colleagues to figure out that situation. The author was talking about his and [some of] his colleagues’ experiences, not arguing for a position in the battle of the sexes.

The text is specifically referring to 'wife' - the underlying assumption (or fact) that the team all have wives. Not a single husband[1].

It's not about 'helping out your spouse', the 60s comment was in reference to stereotypically gendered language. It was not, and has never been, about 'helping your spouse'.

[1] Or enby partner, but the point still stands.

How do you know they weren’t all men? If that was in fact the case, would you still say the author ought to use ungendered language? Remember this is a personal experience, not a political piece.

I know it's a personal piece. I'd prefer if the author used ungendered language, but my amount of upset about that not happening is close to zero. I'm not the language police.

I do, however, very much object to folks moving goal posts on a discussion. OP commented on 60s language because it was gendered. Apply whatever value judgment you want to that statement, agree, disagree, whatever you need to do - but it was never a discussion about "helping a spouse is bad".

That was the point. Let's stop debating things that have never been said, we have Twitter for that.

This kind of commentary gets so tiresome.

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