Empathy in open source: be gentle with each other
smallcultfollowing.com
smallcultfollowing.com
Hahaha. When at first you don't get the validation you sought, follow up with a passive-aggressive narrative intended to evoke guilt.
FFS. Other people exist. People who pull this manipulative crap are the epitome of toxic. Notice the lack of empathy for the maintainer and what they might have going on.
It's all about how you feel when it comes to open-source communities. It selects for feeble minds you can push around through rhetoric.
> Imagine being in a relation with the parent here and being told you’re manipulative just for employing a bog standard communication strategy of healthy relations.
Lovely. Other people exist. As a human actively engaging in this thread, you could address me directly. Instead you refer to me in third person like I'm some object, in defense of the emotionally-abusive rhetoric I called out. Using emotionally-abusive rhetoric to defend the same is pretty fucked.
Outside of abusive relationships, there is nothing "standard" about this form of discourse and you know it. You would never send a follow-up like that to a hiring manager reviewing your resume-- that shit does not fly.
But you get away with it when you do it to your spouse or volunteers-- people who labor out of love. It's sadistic, cruel, and inexcusable. "Respond to me or I'll leave (and take the kids)" is hostage-taking behavior.
There is nothing "healthy" about it either-- instilling fear, obligation and/or guilt in others is the textbook definition of emotional manipulation. Some reference to "FOG" is literally in every domestic violence pamphlet you'll find at any battered-women's shelter. The only thing that's changing is that this form of exploitation has become mainstream. It's still abusive behavior.
> It’s like a masterclass in gaslighting.
Thanks for your vote of confidence in my domestic violence awareness efforts. It has taken me many years and multiple career paths to understand well enough to articulate.
That awkwardness of people meeting after having talked to each other by text in the typical tech tantrum snarky speak that typifies the industry, is gold. Then you see them trying to walk all sorts back to try and clear that awkwardness.
They remember that feeling next time they consider texting like that.
Not really doable in open source though.
It's ridiculous.
We have a pandemic of narcissism thanks to social media and when they see this they go, great I can use that thing called empathy to get what I want.
On other hand I know people who have too much empathy living in constant depression, because, you know, there's suffering in the world. Somewhere.
while he’s not perfect, just recognizing that and taking genuine efforts to fix it is absolutely laudable.