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I assume you have never heard of podcasts.

I'm sure one can talk to their podcasts, but I would be worried if they ever answered me back.

you can ask podcasts questions? and they answer you?

no, but they don't get the answer wrong 20% of the time and give off 100% correctness vibes.

neither does a tuba.

why be mad at a hammer if you hit your thumb with it?

No, generally podcasts are far worse than that...