The solution was to uninstall netplan.io Debian package where it didn't belong - get that YAML out of there. My hosting provider, OVH, figured it would be a good idea to shoehorn netplan - with its accursed YAML - into Debian for Network configuration. Bad move.
+1 for TOML. I love it's usage in innernet config files to set up new clients with a single generated "invitation" file.