I think the annoyance is in the use of the word “ask” as a noun. Example: “I have an ask for you” being used instead of “I have a request for you”.

Yeah we're talking here about "ask" as a noun, as in "what's the ask?"

> I find that limiting the number of things that drive you up a wall is good.

Me too, but if this is really just a way of saying "this shouldn't upset you", you should just say that. As stated, it comes across as condescending.

"Ask" the pseudo-noun.