Just an idiom note: It's "intents and purposes" not "intensive purposes". Easy to mis-hear, but something you want to remember before it makes you look ill-educated in a work memo.
It's also exactly the kind of humor I love. Intentional misuse of idioms, homonyms, intentional dangling modifiers, and the like. It's ok if people think I'm stupid, I can always prove them right!
reminds me when a friend said "escape goat" rather than "scapegoat"