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Comment by jstarfish | Hacker News Reader

Maybe in the 60s. Since then, it's always your parents' fault you're (whatever).

The message for the last decade has been very much don't-feel-guilt-or-shame about anything, just blame those who came before you. Doesn't matter if your parents divorced, stayed together, were overattentive, were underattentive, were poor or were rich. It's their fault you're miserable.

In reality, it's learned helplessness reinforced by social media and ongoing tech developments. Let me drive for you. Let me cook for you. Let me entertain you. Let me tell you what to believe. Let me write "your" speech for you and create "your" art for you.

It's life in captivity. Animals in cages at the zoo are always miserable.

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The techniques and messages change but the underlying hypothesis remains. They say you are abnormal because you can see some things that are very simple like global warming. They condemn your human reaction to rebel against this and offer you a lobotomy to remain happy. It's not physical anymore but its still a lobotomy

> They say you are abnormal because you can see some things that are very simple like global warming. They condemn your human reaction to rebel against this and offer you a lobotomy to remain happy.

This is the way things need to be though. You're not Elon Musk's rich uncle. If changing the fate of the entire world is your goal, you will die unaccomplished, frustrated and be miserable the entire time. It's beyond your control, even collectively, and obsessing about ambitions beyond your capabilities only leads to madness.

Tend your own lot in life. Fix the things you can. "Climate is heating up" should not mean "design, launch and deploy a functional solar shield;" to you, it should mean "migrate somewhere cooler." Once you're capable of achieving small goals like saving your own ass, then you can afford to be more ambitious and worry about everyone else's.

Yeah, this is also wrong. If all you do is this, then if you have human empathy you'll be utterly miserable. You'll care about all the shit happening to other people, and the fact that you have managed to minimize the damage to yourself doesn't really change anything. Your options are to either eliminate your own sense of empathy, or advocate for broad change. Stoicism's great flaw is that it tells you to do the former.

> If all you do is this

Sure, but that's not what I was advocating at all. I was very particular with my words in suggesting tending your own lot first, then helping others instead of the other way around. (People that only look out for themselves generally don't need to be told to do so!)

It's the plane-oxygen-mask situation. You can't fix global warming for everyone without securing money and influence for yourself. So focus on securing those first. Empathy unchecked by logic is just hysteria.

That's not at all my experience with Therapy... Maybe you need to find a better therapist if all they are doing is teaching you to blame your parents for your problems and do nothing else.

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