That is to say, if you tell a woman she looks good, it will be a compliment if she likes you, a sexist remark if she doesn't.
Whereas an ugly looking guy who makes eye contact or smiles at them is regarded as a creep or potential rapist.
In fact I remember reading somewhere that a persons physical attractiveness had a fairly significant affect on the likely verdict where they to be the defendant in a trial.
1. Be attractive.
2. Don't be unattractive.
It's naive but I did expect at least a little pragmatism from this group.
At the workplace, the label looser is just switched for the label creepy/sexist.
I guess because of a positive or negative feedback cycle.
You could look like a literal Ryan Gosling clone and I'd still be offended if you told me the second statement at work.
It's a factor, but lots of women have stories about attractive creeps.
this. nailed it. it depends way more on how she feels and what she thinks of you, than on whether the words/act itself is somehow inherently wrong or sexist. that doesn't mean it's wise to say things or do things like that in the workplace: it isn't. but based on decades of actual experience on this planet this, your observation, rings true to me.