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Knowing EU it could be altered to "Google removes the ability to install non-sanctioned alternative stores which don't have strict content filtering and anti-piracy policies, as per the EU directive" while preserving the (high) level of plausibility.

I mean, all you need to do is make it so that it violates some kind of “integrity” protection on the device, after which banking apps, android wallet etc stop functioning.

Its enough incentive to kill third party app stores for the vast majority of people.

Staying within the letter of the law is pretty easy.

Have you read the text of the DMA? It addresses this exact point in section 50, and is nowhere near as easy to wiggle around as you suggest.

And yet you can only install through the AppStore on iOS.

Not much longer.

Not in the EU soon, thankfully: https://www.techradar.com/news/ios-17-app-sideloading-might-...