Ask HN: What was your first big realization after your first exp living alone? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What was your first big realization after your first exp living alone?

6 pointswanobi18 comments

Can be about finances, life, something about yourself, etc.

Honestly, I guess the difference between how much food a whole family goes through and the amount that one or two people go through. When buying for your family or for roommates, a standard bottle of milk or loaf of bread will be gone in under a week. On your own? You might get through half of that if lucky, with plenty left over going to waste.

So you have to really reconsider how much you'll be able to eat/drink before it expires, and often buy way smaller portions than you would if shopping for others.

I think what surprised me is just how much I took for grated from my parents. My dad always handle bills and cut our grass. My mum would always cooked and clean our clothes.

It's surprising how much effort just running a house is, especially if you're alone. Cooking, maintaining your furniture, tending to your garden, dealing with service provides and bills, washing your clothes, going shopping for groceries, etc...

Obviously I had cooked and cut the grass before, but it's different when these are now all your responsibility and no longer optional. Living alone forces you to grow up and take responsibility in ways I don't know I would have had I always lived with others.

Feeding yourself requires a whole set of logistics that no one prepared me for. Eating cheap and healthy twice or three times a day requires a bit of planning, shopping and cooking skills. It's something you have to keep doing regardless of how late you come home and how tired you are.

A few years later after a move abroad: Stoßlüften!

The freedom.

Not having to compromise in order to accommodate others. Enjoyed many years of living life on my terms. Sure I had to go to work, but in my free time I could do whatever I wanted, when it suited me and be with those whom I choose to enjoy their company for as long as I felt like it.

Parents keeping the details of household bills from me enabled them to castigate about pretty much anything, from leaving a light on for more than a few minutes, to suggesting I had worms because of the amount of food I ate and I was far from obese.

Once forced to move out in my twenties, I found it wasnt that expensive, I could eat well, do things and the anxiety I had with not being able to pay bills was unfounded.

I think businesses could help youngsters gain their independence by just being more upfront over the costs they are likely to see, if they move into a property, etc etc.

With hindsight I should have moved out earlier because the parents did get alot of unpaid help from me by me still living at home, which is part of that one way older generational exploitation thats normalised in society.

[flagged]

Wait until you learn about the parasitic communist ruling class.

By definition communism has no ruling class. You must be thinking of Marxism, a.k.a. State Capitalism. It is capitalism because the state simply takes over the role of capitalist. I recommend looking into libertarian forms of communism like anarcho-communism. The "classic" introduction to anarchist communism is The Conquest of Bread [1], but that's a whole book. If you're looking for a quick introduction, I suggest Life Without Law [2].

- [1]: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/strangers-in-a-tangl...

- [2]: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/strangers-in-a-tangl...

How much I love it. And I mean _alone_ alone. Not with roommates, or a partner. Just me and my cats. I feel a special sort of peace that comes with the quiet privacy of being the only human in my own home.

This was it for me, too. Me + my dog is enough. I'm currently single, but I'm sure at some point in the future there will be a partner involved again, but, no matter what, I'm definitely going to try to have at least one room that's a private refuge, probably my home office.

For me it was how much it forced me to become an adult. I first lived on my own when I was 21. I could tell a big difference between me and my friends who lived with roommates in terms of maturity.

There were other circumstances the probably led to this as well, I was in the military and living over seas(Spain). However, just living on your own forces you to manage a whole new level of responsibilities living at home or with roommates does not.

Having a washer/dryer in unit is really nice

So is off-street parking.

How freedom and isolation go hand in hand.

I used used to walk to a particular park bench between two trees in the Meadows in Edinburgh when I first lived alone. I never thought about why. My son now lives alone and goes for walks. I imagine there is something about the movement and familiarity which makes a day more interesting.

That not all door knobs unlock (like schlage does) when you open them from the inside...

Not really a big realization, but the biggest I had. Luckily enough it was the first day and the RA just finished having orientation in the lobby.

Pants are optional.

quiet

Reply on news.ycombinator.com