Gambling because that's unfortuantely a similar enough activity in more ways than we'd like to admit: jacking everything in for the hope of getting a successful startup, and doing it time and again, is like going to the casino to the outsider. The real difference which most people fail to see is that gambling is not skills based. It's luck based, ie everything you learn in entrepreneurship is valid next time round. In gambling the odds never change no matter how many times you play.
Lazy, or as it was once said to me - "you ought to go and get a proper job" is still a very strong viewpoint for outsiders.
A partner leaving you and giving failure as an excuse is not and never was a partner.
Even worse, consider the case where your personal finances would have been great if the money had not all gone in to the business - hard for a partner not to feel resentful about not having a house, but instead having 100,000 lines of code that no one wants.
At the outset when optimism was high, the mind can work in wonderful ways to spend all that cash. But it can take a very long time to realise. Maybe not even in this project.
I always end up questioning the motivation of the partner. Cash, a house, holidays, clothes... this is all very well, except it ignores the elemnt of risk that lies at the heart of any venture. That risk at the end of the day has to be shared by a partner. It is what it is love me, love my dog.
If the partner was not prepared to share the risk ( and not have all those fancy things when it didn't happen at this point in time) then this is tantamount to misleading me (you) over a time.
I don't know if you can agree with this, of course being in the centre it's hard often to rationalise.
If you're talking about marriage or something of a similar flavor, no but it came very close several times. It can be very frustrating for someone on the other side of the equation to take the answer "I don't know." to so many questions for so long. Some people abhor that reality, and while I am not one of them, I can understand where they're coming from, especially if there are other aspects of the equation (a mortgage, children, a mountain of outstanding debt).
If you're talking about business partner, I would say certainly. My most recent venture folded up because within four months my (business) partner got engaged, started putting in about 1/2 of the hours needed to get the job done, and the abruptly moved two hours away. He's since found a day job and I'm ready to move on to something different. Sometimes, no matter how long you know someone, they change.
However, if you lose large amounts of money (unexpected severance payments, macro-economy, loss of contracts, etc) then things can get really complicated. Sometimes even your relatives expect to benefit from the business - if you shoot for and get high profile press you should expect this.
Don't despair. At the end, you'll end up with a stronger social network: the people that really matter are going to stick. To ensure they do, be open, communicate and involve them in the process (this is key).
Alternatively, to avoid bumpy financial roads, just diversify your investments:
- Put a fraction the money of an exit or the final payment of a major contract in the bank and never touch it
- Invest in real estate so you have a stable income source no matter what
- Assume (like Bill Gates famously did many times) that no client is going to pay for your software and plan for the worst case scenario
- Never go all-in. In anything!
- Get a part time job/ a speak at conferences/ etc
- And, finally, engage with someone who is very stable or also an entrepreneur (which incidentally works like a charm)
Hope this helps.
Good luck bud!
P.S. What you've experienced is certainly a fear of mine. How you handle this adversity will say a lot about the person you are.