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Comment by ajonit | Hacker News Reader

On the topic of negotiations, I would recommend a book “Never Split the difference” by Chris Voss a former FBI hostage negotiator. He takes you through his own experience of handling various hostage situations, salary negotiations etc.

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This book has created a whole class of very annoying people who do nothing but repeat "How can you make this deal better for me at no cost to myself" in an endless loop and have no strategy for what to do when the other party isn't willing to negotiate themselves downwards for free.

Both parties can employ that strategy, and there's no sale if they cannot agree. It's self-correcting.

If you find it annoying behavior on the part of the other party, walk away.

I read all the classic negotiations books and think this one is the only one you need to read. IMO its core idea is NOT "how am I supposed to do that", as other posters say, but the role of empathy and uncovering hidden information in high-stakes (or even regular) negotiations

I recommend the book for the psychological/emotional tips.

Otherwise, it's a pretty poor book:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27335076

I enjoyed the interview with him on Lex Fridman’s podcast, too. Some repeat of the book, and some new material.

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Well, I've got these hostages here, so I suppose the 'how' is up to you."

People who take hostages aren't very smart, so being poor negotiators is par for the course.

How do I know the hostages are alive?

What else can you do? Err on the side of all the hostages being dead?

That’ll make for some spicy firing + public disgrace + jail time if you’re wrong.

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