Old English names: Cæd, bæd and dangerous to know

The statement that Byron was "mad, bad and dangerous to know" comes from Lady Caroline Lamb after their first meeting, when the publication of "Childe Harold" (1812) made him the literary and social lion of London at the age of 24. However, Lady Caroline was notoriously worse than he on all three counts, and when she threw herself at Byron, her irrationality and sexual excesses so appalled him that he terminated the affair after about six months. Later, her vengeance fueled the scandal that forced him to leave England.

Undeniably, Byron held most women in low esteem, but in the Regency period, it was the profligate Prince Regent who set the example society followed. Furthermore, Byron's sexual attitudes and behavior were conditioned by early experiences: a dissolute father, who deserted a wife and young child; a sexually abusive nursemaid and homosexual attachment to a college classmate; the agony and sense of inferiority over his crippled leg, and the spell his extraordinary good looks cast over women.

None of this justifies Byron's promiscuity or makes him more acceptable by modern women's standards. It was his one sincere attachment (1813-16), to his half sister, Augusta Leigh, that led to his downfall in London society. That dangerous liason, confirmed by Leslie Marchand's biography, destroyed Byron's brief marriage (1815-16) to Annabella Milbanke. While incest was not illegal in England, it was considered beyond the pale even in that licentious era. Thus when rumors surfaced, Byron found himself ostracized. American publishers of the 1980's are still wary of books about incest.

Disillusioned, and in a move to protect Augusta, who was more vulnerable to scandal than he, and whose fourth child may or may not have been his, Byron exiled himself from England in 1816. His subsequent relations with women—whether the mythical 200 or fewer—were affected by two main factors. First, he was never divorced from Annabella, only separated legally and therefore free to philander as he pleased.

Second, and perhaps more revealing, is what Byron wrote in a letter to Augusta just after he left England:

"My Dearest Love,

"I have never ceased nor can cease to feel for a moment that perfect and boundless attachment which binds me to you, which renders me utterly incapable of real love for any other human being—for what could they be to me after you? Whenever I love anything, it will be because it reminds me in some way of yourself.

"They say that absence destroys the weak passions and confirms the strong ones. Alas, mine for you is the union of all passions and of all affections.

"A thousand loves to you from me—which is very generous for I only ask one in return. / Ever dearest B."

—Miriam Lang, 13 March 1989, NYTimes letter to the ed.

I like to try to add something to things I quote, but the only part I can personally identify with is the spell his extraordinary good looks cast over women. I don't suppose you guys want to hear more about that?