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I don't know about you, but the quintessential "retro" product in my mind is the record player, and while it might not have "boot times, glitchy screens, unresponsive controls, failed Bluetooth connections, etc.", it's still decidedly less convenient than something modern like your phone + wired speakers. I'm not really sure how reliable wireless speakers are, but in my experience bluetooth headphones are reliable enough that establishing a bluetooth connection is less hassle than putting in records/stylus and swapping them out later. People might like record players for other reasons (eg. they like the ceremony of all that), but I'm skeptical that people like them because they like "having it instantly work".

Maybe you took me a little too literally. There are obviously many disadvantages to record players and having an infinite library of music on your phone is amazing. I don’t even own a record player or an old radio anymore, but the next time car play freezes up or my Bluetooth speaker decides to unpair I will wish I did.

Yeah but a lot of it is survivorship bias. There was plenty of crap in the old days too, but we’ve thrown it all away by now, leaving only the good stuff.

That is true

Ironically Tesla solved all of the above to the perfection

IMO enshittification happens when companies try to copy Tesla/Apple and fail