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Comment by Tronno | Hacker News Reader

I disagree with the way these behaviors are portrayed as a cultural dichotomy. To me, the author's examples all fall under ineffective communication.

Their example of "ask culture" involves stoking resentment by making unreasonable requests. This can be avoided by practicing a little empathy. Ask questions, provide some basic context, and offer an escape hatch: "What are you busy with? I need X because Y. It's fine if you can't, I can also get it from Z".

Their example of "guess culture" sounds like mind-reading and ambiguous non-verbal signaling, maybe even to the point of being passive aggressive. Again, use empathy. Volunteer information that others might want to know. Be genuinely curious, ask questions. Communicate.

Make sure both parties know enough to make informed decisions.

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One could argue that guessing correctly does minimize the inefficient communication.

I'm not sure this joke is appropriate: Man and wife sleep in separate beds, the wife says. A friend asks, so how do you ... you know? If he wants to, he whistles. And if you want to? Well, I go over and ask if he whistled.

As posted above, the dichotomy is "popsci" fiction with little substantiation.[0]

Yet, I think it's useful for awareness.

[0] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-context_and_low-context...

This makes sense to me. I appreciate when somebody communicates their needs in a straightforward way, but also demonstrates an understanding that I might not be able (or willing) to accommodate them. I try to practice this when asking for help. Be clear, but empathetic. And I don't get angry if folks can't help, and remember that everybody has far more going in their lives than what I can see.

> Ask questions, provide some basic context, and offer an escape hatch: "What are you busy with? I need X because Y. It's fine if you can't, I can also get it from Z".

The escape hatch could also just be a mere formality， especially when there is a difference in power dynamics or social rank. This is amplified in cultures where, for example, the opinions and needs of elders rank higher.

In those cases, you're expected to tend to the needs of those elders without them even having to ask.

I tend to agree. I'm very much in the 'guess' camp by description, personally. I would never ask for something unless I found it reasonable and not difficult for the other.

However, when someone asks me something I don't want to do, I just say no, and don't think much more about it.

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