https://youtube.com/watch?v=vV-eVYahckA
http://www.neighborhoodarchive.com/misc/candid_camera/index....
The world is much poorer without him.
If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but they'll still ask the question.
"How's it going?" can be either a throwaway acknowledgment, or it can be a light opener to a longer conversation.
"I have cancer, how are you?" "Is everyone having a good time? I have cancer."
It's a masterpiece, in my opinion. Tig finds an intensely awkward situation with an audience that showed up for comedy, and just presses on it relentlessly. I really hope that when it's my turn, I can handle it like her.
I watched mother-in-law go through the expensive and painful burn/cut/poison and hospice with two morphine patches. On flight home I determined I was going to learn about it and find a different course than what was offered by the medical establishment. The book World Without Cancer helped start my journey. It's not just random bad luck, so take action.
That book has nothing to do with improving actual human health.
I don’t know how I’m doing right now. If you asked me you wouldn’t get much of an answer. I might say I’m doing just fine to end the conversation.
But what is there to really say? We are simply going about this world trying to survive, trying to not get shot, trying to make so much money so that we never befall the fate of those who have been damned to a life of poverty. And all the time, a war wages for the control of our minds, and our privacy and free agency threatened at every opportunity. Big corporations and lobbyists want to hold us down, keep us in offices toiling away so princely investors can prop up their commercial real estate empires and ensure the working rich never get a chance to break free of their chains and embrace their own financial independence, because that would mean they become uncontrollable, a threat to those in power whose primary tool of coercion is money. The climate is falling apart and it makes little sense to have even one child, assuming you could even find a partner unsullied by the toxic dating culture that has been brewed by impossible standards hoisted upon us by social medias. I had to step over two homeless bums overdosing on the sidewalk this morning, victims of a drug epidemic that goes quietly unnoticed, swept under the rug as an inconvenient truth. It is clear the best days of this nation are far behind it. The future is perilously dark and uncertain.
How am I really doing? Don’t know. I don’t try to think about it.
I'd hate to have your so pessimistic and negative view of the world though.
I don't think most people are viewing things this way (i.e. makes little sense to have one child). Plenty of people are having children and families and enjoying life.
If this isn't a joke, it seems you might need some help as there's no way that's a normal way to feel, at least in my experience.
I'd say it's the people who don't feel this way who need help but on second thought I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone.
there is no problem. It's a friendly greeting. Sorry your life is such a bummer.
Try saying, "Great, and you?" even if you don't mean it at all. You get back what you give out.
Edit: you can also say, "Shitty. It sucks to be me." That might even be honest, judging from the responses.
Yes, that is exactly the problem. It invites fake responses and real responses are not appreciated at all. It's just noise.
Sorry? Are you a mind reader or something?
Unbelievable.
Nothing I hate more than a liar.
Thank you for posting this and the video link.
Conversely:Americans probably think I'm rude because I don't first ask them how they are but start the actual conversation without pre-amble.
Graag gedaan is also something you say to be polite, not only when it really was your pleasure to do it, so it could qualify as a phatic expression - I don’t think anyone on the other side thinks “oh well, that person surely cares about me: it’s a pleasure doing something for me!”.
Edit: FWIW, I often ask people how they are, and while I hope and am delighted to hear how people are, you're right, objectively, I think it's really more just sort of a default template that invites any kind of response vaguely correlating with one's status. But, "Hi, I invite you to tell me anything on your mind that might correlate with how you or the world are, or anything else; I'm just being social," is a bit clumsy.
COVID was really weird because I knew that on meeting someone I would, and I knew they would normally shake as a greeting, but instead we would stand around hands awkwardly at our sides.
There are important contextual and regional difference that apply too. You're more likely to get a genuine reply in a place like the rural Midwest than you are in NYC. You also are more likely to get a genuine reply from a person relaxing at a bar than the cashier at a fast food drive through window. There are many people who will take the question as an invitation to talk if the situation is right.
it is common to hear a reply as "oh, you know" an an equally un-engaged response. i remember the first time an uncle responed "well, no, I don't. that's why I asked." i had never realized how i had become desensitized to the question that i gave an equally meaningless response. so now, if it's a stranger, it's just a simple "doing good" or "just fine" followed by a "thanks". if it's someone i am familiar with like family or friend, but not coworkers, then i might stop to provide a more truthful response
- How are you doing? - How are you doing?
- How are you doing? - Well, you know, yesterday..
both are equally socially acceptable
Expanding on this just a little bit... I think that, in the Midwest but I'm sure in many other distinct American cultural regions, there's a sort of shared, but subdued, understanding that each of us is uniquely going through some shit. We answer the way we do because we don't want to trouble others with said shit.
Still, other languages do that too: que tal (Spanish), šta ima (Serbian), wie gehts (German),...
I think it's exactly a bit like a modem preamble, but it's an opportunity to create a conversation and give both people in the conversation a chance to set the tone. It can really be used to genuinely find out the answer to the question, but a lot of people don't want to share their personal challenges with strangers, coworkers, or even acquaintances. You may not enough know exactly what level of intimacy is included in your relationship with another person or whether you are at the point to move to that next level, this simple question gives them the opportunity to either dive into something that's very personal or to keep it light-hearted and move along.
It's not a throwaway, it's a respectful way to start a conversation that gives the other person agency in setting the tone.
Yes, we use it like "hello" -- but not always. Sometimes we mean it.
Since this use of "How are you?" trips up people from other nations so much, I've tried to be more aware of this. My compromise is that when I mean it as a greeting rather than a query, I'll say "Howzitgoing" like a single word. If I mean it as a query, I'll look the person in the eye and ask "How are you doing?"
As such, I’ve always found it odd people narrow in on the “how are you” question being perfunctory and people don’t genuinely care. They routinely ask it and generally expect “good thanks” but react appropriately to other answers.