> Just get married, you can always divorce in a few years and walk away with half your partner’s assets.
Even in a community property state (a small minority operate under this rule, while an even smaller number allow voluntarily designating particular property as community property), without a prenup, its half the marital property, which includes only what is acquired during marriage, and of that excludes property one party receives during marriage through inheritance and similar processes. And, of course, even if your description was accurate, a penniless woman isn’t just going to automatically be able to find and marry a man with assets or likely to acquire them in any significant quantity. (And, conversely, while it is likewise not automatic, men can and do "marry up" financially, its not something that is only possible for women, and where marital assets are a thing, are just as entitled to a division of them.)
> * no programs to help you re-train and college has become completely unaffordable
Job retraining programs, including public community colleges, do, in fact, exist.
> * not nearly enough time to build up any sort of retirement savings suficient to not be eating beans for every meal
This is actually one area where public sector employment is a good deal; the base pay at the low end often isn’t any worse than the private sector, upward mobility (at least in wages) in the low end is also not bad, and defined benefit pensions exists. Even in the 40s, getting in 20 years is doable, and a plan with a 2% per year of service benefit multiplier (which isn’t very high, if you are retiring in your 60s) gives you 40% of your base (usually something like average of highest 3) years pay as your annual pension benefit.
Public sector employers are often also. for jobs where age discrimination is common if illegal in the private sector, much less prone to it.
> * not eligible for any assistance programs (only disabled, parents, and those over 65)
In many jurisdictions, general assistance/general relief is a thing, though the cash benefit levels tend to be low (though they often come bundled with non-cash aid, including food aid, job training, etc.), and there may be time limits with cooling off periods for able-bodied adults (e.g., something like a limit of 9 months in any 12 month period.)
> * ineligible for public service jobs (fire/ems/police) and military (even non-combat roles. We’ll put a morbidly obese 20 year old out there before we’ll put a fit, loaded-with-life-experience 45 year old)
Very few civilian public service jobs have age limits; the military has enlistment age limits (though for the Navy and Coast Guard, you aren’t necessarily past it if you are in your 40s, since it is 41 and 42, respectively), fire/police/EMS very often do not (though this varies by service and jurisdiction), and instead only have required fitness qualifications.