If you are using dried beans and not instant rice you are not really suffering nutritionally. Not any worse than what most americans eat anyway.Do a google search.

Go to a soup kitchen for a meal every once in a while, if you feel guilty about it volunteer at a different one.

Get out of the house.

You have issues other than a job to worry about and going back to the same type of work you do not enjoy is not going to help.

Salvation Army, Red Cross or any 'decent church' should be able to direct and help you with social services.