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Comment by atlantic | Hacker News Reader

Thanks for that. My Mum was almost the exact opposite to yours, but there seems to be no name for her ailment. She would move house once a year, and she would throw away a large part of everything we owned with every move. In the new house, we would often live amongst piles of cardboard boxes that never got around to being unpacked. While my Dad was alive, the books endured, but on his demise they got thrown out too. And obviously, our social circle did not survive frequent relocation.

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While alive what was your dads role in this annual process? Was he involved in the decision/move/lifestyle? I've never understood family dynamics where one parent is able to absolutely control the entire equation.

why would anyone want to dive into such a sensitive topic on a public forum? mind your manners.

What? Mind my manners? The GP offered their personal anecdote in a thread of vulnerable hoarding stories. I had parents who were equally complicit in their afflictions and I'm genuinely curious about unilateral situations.

This is PRECISELY the type of thing that should be discussed in anonymous public forums, with the consent of the person and with neutral questions not for the sake of shaming the person who’s talking.

Growth of issues in society should not be relegated to whispers in back rooms, the way baby boomers do it. That’s how you hamper scientific progress for psychology. How can people investigate an issue if it’s hidden from view? Bringing light to issues for society allows them to be solved as people understand it better.

Shame on you for perpetuating toxic behavior that shames people for looking for insight into our world.

Ok, good question.

He was uncritically supportive, as my mother found fault with each new apartment or neighbourhood, making up reasons to move again. He also accepted her reasons for moving us to yet another school. And he obviously financed this very expensive habit, so there was never much left over for clothes or anything recreational.

The only condition was that his routine would remain undisturbed, and he wouldn't help in any way. So for example, he'd have all his breakfast gear at the ready in the new house, amongst the piles of boxes, from the first morning. And go to work as usual.

Other than that very large elephant in the room, they were great parents, no complaints.

> The only condition was that his routine would remain undisturbed, and he wouldn't help in any way. So for example, he'd have all his breakfast gear at the ready in the new house, amongst the piles of boxes, from the first morning. And go to work as usual.

I shouldn't laugh, but I'm just picturing your dad sitting amongst the chaos casually eating his breakfast cereal totally unphased by it all.

If the furniture was still piled up, there'd be a folding table and chair for him, in an open space between the piles of boxes.

He'd have his own milk and pot, coffee and filters, toaster, breadboard, breadknife, butterknife, teaspoon and mug. He was a very generous man, but these objects he didn't share.

The breakfast ritual took several hours, and involved a Swedish exercise routine near an open window, interspersed with reading the news and breakfast itself. The reading was not strictly passive, as it involved marking various articles with a thick red pencil, and then cutting them out, folding the cuttings, and saving a select few into his wallet for later reading.

Seems to have had some healthy habits and a positive mindset, so...

What led to his death?

Thanks for sharing! Your account is disturbingly relatable. Even:

> The only condition was that his routine would remain undisturbed, and he wouldn't help in any way.

This is totally where I'm at. I can't keep up with the churn and refuse to facilitate it anymore. I started to suspect a disorder of some kind once moving countries altogether became the new goal, but outside of cults moving around to sever family/community ties I've never even heard of this being a thing before. I know I will kill myself if this started up again after going to that much trouble.

> I know I will kill myself if this started up again after going to that much trouble.

I don't know if this is hyperbole, or an actual assessment of the situation you're in, but... please don't. Get out if you have to, but don't get out that way.

I appreciate your concern, but it's an assessment of a prospective situation I'd be putting myself in. I figure it's best to avoid it rather than test my resilience.

Reading the first comment, then your reply - my impression is "The left and right tails of yet another bell curve of human behaviors...either tail of which (if less extreme) could be highly adaptive in many situations."

[Edit: fixed spelling.]

Do you mean adaptive or am I missing something ?

Yeah, I think he does mean adaptive. The point is that -- although the behaviors are certainly mal-adaptive in resource-rich stable countries -- they might actually be highly adaptive in other situations.

Not a doctor, but is that a form of Obsessive-compulsive disorder?

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