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Comment by zeroCalories | Hacker News Reader

From personal experience, I find that playing dumb and dismissive with online discourse that leaks into real life works the best. Most of these things are incredibly unimportant, and even strongly opinionated people start to falter when they find themselves having to explain their dumb culture war stuff to you. Obviously if it's a serious mainstream issue you shouldn't do this.

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It actually works pretty great on those too. "Serious mainstream issues" are exactly the same kind of thing as fabricated internet drama, just fabricated by older and much better funded groups.

"Did you see what those Antifa people are doing now?!?!"

"Nah, I'm not really into Pokémon."

I don't know, I think there are some exceptions to this. It's very difficult to play dumb when a friend confides in you about their concerns getting an IUD in certain political landscapes. During the height of covid, more than one asian friend asked me to be around them in public due to the rise of anti-asian sentiment in my country, and it would've been wildly inappropriate for me to play dumb then. Most recently more than one non-feminine woman friend have asked me for the same due to anti-transgender rhetoric (I've had one confide in me a harrowing experience getting harassed by someone assuming she was transgender... she's just skinny with a short haircut).

I vividly remember Muslims in my team coming to concerned for their families when the trump travel ban began. They were confused why they were being singled out and worried about being persecuted at work and school. I couldn’t explain because I honestly never understood, but I could assure them I wouldn’t stand for any such thing at work and assure them I didn’t sympathize with the politics, and I would be their advocate if they needed it. I expressed hope that schools wouldn’t stand for it either and advised them to also reach out to their guidance counselors at school to be sure they were aware of their concerns.

Whether these are issues manufactured or not, they translate into real fears that play out across many people, in profound ways. It’s important to be engaged to protect people in fear, whether you share their backgrounds or beliefs - because we all can share an understanding of fear, and hopefully none of us wish it on others.

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