You cannot fully appreciate your moments without kids until you have kids though.
The smugness of people with kids is just annoying.
I didn't read their comment as smugness.
The ability of people without kids to have a firm belief on how they’d feel with or without them is also astonishing.
I doubt people with kids are smug about it. It’s just been life changing for them, and to some extend they must regret that other people will never get to experience that, especially if they were initially hesitant too.
Anyway, fully agree it makes you appreciate your time more. I enjoy adjusting the flow of time to school age again, even if it’s not my own.
First he tells me how I feel, now you're telling me what I believe?
I don't know how I'd feel if I had kids. What I do know is that I "fully appreciate my moments without kids".
If a non-parent told you that you can't truly enjoy your free time because you have kids, wouldn't that be a bit rude?
Nah, I’d nod my head and agree, but I imagine that’s not the point you were going for xD
I feel it’s like growing up, it’s hard to appreciate childhood, or university, or any of that until it’s passed.
By the same token you start to appreciate the seas of time you had without children once you have them, but by then it’s too late of course, and you can only appreciate them in hindsight.
I’m sure the same thing will be true after my children grow up. I’ll appreciate all the time I got to spend with them more in hindsight.
In general I appreciate things a lot more in the moment than in retrospect. And I'm much happier now than I was as a child or a university student--the thing I appreciate most about those times is that they're over.
And look, it's fine we have different experiences--I'm not here to invalidate your experience. But when people say stuff like "You cannot fully appreciate your moments without kids until you have kids though" you're invalidating my experiences. That's total bullshit--you don't know anything about my life and whether or not I truly appreciate it.
If you want to talk about your experiences, that's cool, and I'm actually even interested to hear them. But don't pretend like your experience is some universal truth. It's not.
I didn't need to have my own kids to appreciate the peace of not having them (although at some point I do still intend to have kids, just not soon). I just had to frequently babysit my niece and nephew.
Nowadays I visit them only for a few days every few weeks and even then it's blatantly obvious that kids would mean a sharp drop in my ability to have as many different projects and hobbies as I do right now, for at least 5-10 years. Makes me really appreicate my moments without kids, as much as I also appreciate being able to see my niece and nephew grow and develop into their own selves.
It isn't some desperate plea like you're implying.
The rational side of me tell me it is all my selfish gene in action. And I'm loving it.