Re your battalion commander: "Mrs. Colonel" — and for that matter "Mrs. E-9" — and their husbands are a longstanding problem, but as far as I could tell* in my day, it was just a minor irritant. No organization is flawless, and you'll find d[*]ckheads, with and without spousal attachments, in mid- and senior management in most walks of life.

* Grew up in the USAF, served in the USN

Oof, yeah, I don't blame you for having that opinion then. That tour/MOS is just about peak shit show from a leadership perspective.

This explains a lot. You're entitled to your opinion, and I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but you're extrapolating what you saw to the entire military based on the experience of one junior enlisted member, which is . . . not going to lead to an accurate viewpoint.

The infantry is its own beast. But most of DoD is not the infantry.

An E6 I knew started making some official complaints because a colonel was sleeping with his wife (also an E6). The colonel's wife sat him down and told him, "(the colonel) is going to make general soon" so you should just put up with it and stop causing problems.