Or random people from my past sending me happy birthday ever year.
I am probably not social enough to understand that, but that sounds like a lot of work just to stand out as kinda weird.
No, it's not "cold", the point is that you had contact with them, they know you. It is totally normal to say, "hey not sure you remember me but we worked together on XYZ project in 2017, and I noticed you're at a company now that is interesting to me, can we grab a coffee to catch up?"
> plus basically creating a list of 'humans you might have use for in future' and their birthdays for your personal benefit.
No, keeping track of people you enjoyed working with and reaching out to them periodically is not "keeping a list of humans you might have use for in the future", it is having a network of professional connections that you haven't lost touch with.
I think something you might be missing here is that this is not a unidirectional selfish benefit. You know what I love? When people I enjoyed working with reach out to me. I'm glad they kept track of me and I'm glad they thought to reach out, and I'm glad to both catch up personally and see if I can be helpful to them professionally.
This is what makes the world go 'round, and it's not weird distasteful or nefarious, it's a very good system.
In the last 20 years I’ve interviewed for exactly one job, and that was my first one out of university. Since then it’s always been people I know offering me new positions. People don’t just hire a random person off the street unless it’s some MegaCorp sausage machine or they’ve exhausted all other options.
Look you can follow this disengaged, unsocial approach, but it’s suboptimal.
I hear this every so often, but do you mean that literally? It's so far outside my reality I can't believe it still happens.
I've never seen anyone get a job at an established company without SOME kind of interview. Even Guido van Rossum (creator of Python) has needed to do some interviews when changing companies.
Even if they are the hiring manager at a new company I've never seen them be able to completely bypass the HR process in that way.
As for the HR process, yes there’s always HR. It’s usually a few days after the chat and just a formality to tick the boxes and explain leave policies, the medical cover, run background checks, but HR really has never had any influence over the decision.
IMO it is absolutely not weird to ask connections if they can refer you for a job? The company even pays me bonuses for successful referrals! (Well maybe that's over now, I haven't checked recently)
So if any of those people reach out to me looking for connections, I'll absolutely do so because I also expect they'll return the favour when I need it. It's worked out for me before.
You don't have to invite them to your wedding. But having a brief if awkward friendly interaction and then passing on a referral for a posting or letting them know about some opportunity you may have heard of isn't "socializing", it's just a career skill.
We're all in this together. Being able to have a career that doesn't suck depends in large part on networking, not on your coding skills.
Yes. I'm not sure this is the thread in which to do it, but I think this is an important thing for the "Rah Rah WFH" type folks to consider. Networking over Zoom/email/chat definitely isn't rare or impossible, but is a lot more limiting & difficult than in person.
Also some of the most long-standing software industry relationships I have are people I met back in the early-days of the Internet (early 90s) on MUDs/MOOs/IRC/Usenet etc.. and have never met in person.
But personally I am sick of WFH for other reasons and would love to go back to in person if the local options were better. (But also just sick of working, generally :-) so...)
But I can definitely see it could be tricky for introverted types, or people just starting their career.
What I want more than anything is a stronger separation between domestic and professional workspace.
It just never happened to me, I picked my jobs myself, bootstrapped my companies without promoting it in a inner circle.
In fact most people I know got their job by just applying for it or recruiting companies.
I wonder where I would be at if I had networking skills, when my coding skills already brought me everywhere I wanted to be.
Maybe it's cultural, maybe it's just my social circle.
What, why? This is what professional connections are all about! Sure it is weird when like a social friend from childhood reaches out with an ulterior motive, but it's not weird when professional connections reach out for professional reasons. You're the weird one on this one :) And you're probably limiting your own career with this hang up.
I love it when past colleagues reach out. Even if I'm not personally hiring or don't think they'd be a good fit for my current company, I probably know of other people and companies to introduce them to.
People don't like feeling like a tool other people use to get what they want.
Or do you mean reaching out at all for a referral? This is simply because HR and managers love knowing that someone, ANYONE, likes you enough to be willing to work with you again.
It helps you also because most people aren’t sociopaths and will pay it forward. It’s a way for you to build your own network.
Your career is often only as strong as your network.