Ask HN: Recent grad, need advice. Please help
So, my problem is that although I've graduated, I'm still kind of a newbie to programming. I know the absolute basics of things like DS/Algo, HTML/CSS/JS, and C language.
How I happened to fall into this situation is depression and suicidal thoughts. I'm still pretty suicidal so as a last resort I'm selling help from here.
My college years coincided pretty well with the pandemic. My life wasn't going all that well, which lead to me entering a cycle of procrastination where I avoided doing basically everything. I passed the exams as they were almost completely theoretical and required rote memorization.
I also kept myself from actually programming because I kept getting RSI pains in my arms from time-to-time which scared me a bit. Procrastinated incessantly here.
The college also was a pretty low quality one where the teachers didn't actually know anything, taught from PPTs downloaded from the internet, and couldn't actually explain why concepts.
I've graduated now and am now in a pretty strong need of a job due to poverty. Horrible situation to be in, I know. I also know that I'm pretty much incompetent so it's basically nigh impossible for me to get any practical job. I'm kind of caught in a clutch and my mind isn't working, so I'll be grateful for any advice I can get on my situation.
I'm not sure what to do from where I am and am feeling pretty devastated over where I've ended up.
My city is bad in terms of jobs. I see at most 6-8 jobs at any time and many of that are for Senior posts. Metro cities with good jobs are like 1,000 kms away.
I also get strong RSI pains in my arms. I can't get diagnosed for it because I don't have the money. I'm afraid I won't be able to work well due to this limiting my career. This is the part I'm most worried about.
I'm being hammered by the constant issues caused by the severe lack of money and RSI in my arms that keeps me from upskilling. I want to make something out of my life but every moment feels as if I can't.
Please help.