Thank you gor sharing this. I'm glad you found a way through. It must have been extremely difficult to confront and accept these realities. Seems pretty brave to me.
I like to compare what happened to a paint clay pot being thrown at a wall. There was no “me” anymore. Shortly after that happened, I did the obvious thing. I sat down on the floor and gathered up all of the pieces. Then I sorted through them and decided which ones I liked. Then I looked at a few other pots to fill in the gaps. Then I glued it all back together, kind of like Kintsugi.
That’s the only approach I considered. Giving up or letting someone else take responsibility never occurred to me.
That meets the definition of brave to me, personally. My apologies if this disrespectful.
Good job, and respect.