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Tell me you've never had kids...

You will "force" (let's admit it's not really force, but more nudging) children to clean their plate because they can't come back later and ask for food anytime they want. Learning to eat at fixed time, and to share a common meal (which is also a social bonding ritual), instead of expecting to be served at any time on a whim and live their life aloof of other's schedules, is part of socialisation and education.

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No one's saying you don't have mealtimes, this all happens at a mealtime. You just don't overface them with huge (to them) one-shot platefuls and make them eat it with a combination of threats and guilt. They can ask for seconds if they want, strictly at the same mealtime, and it's obviously better for them to take less at first and do that rather than take too much because then they actually do have to eat it all.

They will quickly learn not to undereat and expect to be allowed to raid the snack store later (not that we had a snack store as such, but even if I knew there was, say, a cake to be had, "consequences of your own actions" would be the phrase used while being firmly denied access).

It isn't, you're just failing as a parent to set boundaries.

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