After an unfortunate bout of Java development, I was flung into the arms of Intellij, steadily won over by the indexing and the reliability of the refactoring tools. The Vim plugin was good enough and defining some chords for editor shortcuts resulted in a kind of fucked up fat vim emacs mode that was quite productive.
I, too, got fed up of spending inordinate amounts of debugging vimscript and incompatibilities to end up with something that was slower or buggier than an IDE in certain crucial ways or with highly debugging resistant niggles.
But I'm also far from in love with Intellij these days. It's slow. Prone to index corruption with lots annoyances I can't easily fix myself. I may churn to vscode. But I'm definitely in the gravity well of Intellij.
However perhaps this is worth a look. I have historically had a fairly high tolerance to plowing hours I'm never getting back into fiddling with tools. Just less than I used to. More nixos gnome, alacritty than gentoo, xmonad, urxvt...