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Comment by NotDEA | Hacker News Reader

Hey Chris, I’m a pretty high ranking member in the Sinaloa Cartel that also browses HN in my free time.

Customers always come first in our line of work, so I’m always looking for ways to provide a high quality, safe experience with the drugs we provide and this idea sounds like it could be a game changer not just for us cartels, but also for savvy entrepreneurs like yourself.

I reached out directly to the email you provided in your bio (p.s. thanks for making it your real first and last name so there is no confusion on my end) and am eagerly awaiting your reply.

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Hello Chris, I'm the leader of the IBF Cartel. We are a new player on the market and I recommend choosing us instead of the Sinaloa Cartel. When not promoting the growth and productivity of our farmers through proactive measures I also like to chill and answer Ask HN posts.

We are a next-generation cartel transforming the way drugs reach your table. We are revolutionizing the entire drug supply chain by leveraging cutting-edge technology, new exploitation practices, and a customer-centric approach.

We kindly request that you provide your contact information, including your full name, address, and phone number, in order for us to reach out to you.

Oh, hello Chris. I work for yet another competing cartel and we would also _love_ to get in touch and discuss the idea in detail. To skip the formalities and get right down to business, we’ve already got someone watching your mother’s house in Indiana. And your sister’s kids are so cute! Did she tell you Ms. Carter gave Sally a gold ribbon at yesterdays’s track meet? What a kid! I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree - her dad was a track star back at Dayville High in 1999, winning first place in high jump. Shame about his twisted ankle injury last June. Yes, we’ve seen the medical records.

We love to know our partners better than they know themselves and we look forward to working with you. For the rest of your brief life.

</sarcasm>

How would you be able to prove that you are in fact a part of the sinaloa cartel it’s kinda weird your js admitting to it but that is not the point if you really are part i would want to ask some questions if you dont mind

This is the reason why I love HN

You're definitely not DEA :) but Maybe FBI, DHS, ICE, or one of the endless other enforcement agencies that would throw the books at this naive aspiring drug entrepreneur.

Pedro Sanchez from my hood, who went to meet some capos, has been missing in Culiacán. Can you locate him, please?

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