You state that they don't satisfy the test with quite some certainty but left the reasoning to the reader; but, it would seem, to me, like Pokémon cards are no different from many of these cryptocurrencies the SEC is interested in:
In this case, some company decided to print a bunch of supposedly rare things that they pinkie swear are actually rare, even though this company can print more any time they want. People who buy these cards from the company don't even know what they are buying, which seems particularly egregious, and maybe should be regulated as an illegal lottery!
They then sell these things to people who are absolutely buying them with the expectation that they will go up in value. The people who print the cards insist they have "utility" in the form of a game people can play, and yet I have never heard of anyone actually playing this game... hell: the only 10 year old I know well happens to be obsessed with these cards and is presumably in the target market, and I'm not even certain he knows how to play the game!
Instead, this kid just keeps his cards in binders and talks constantly about their rarity and potential later sale value, as even our children are being turned into amateur investors by the marketing efforts of this company; and the reality is that--like other so-called "collectible" crazes--most of these cards are going to be near-worthless in the long term as this is just a bubble being held up by the company's management efforts designed to shill their shitcards.