Have you ever considered that people don't like being told how to behave by unlikable people? And that language policing by definition makes you unlikable? When was the last time you told someone not to use a word and they said "you know what, I like being told how not to speak." ? It's maybe the quickest way to tell everyone that you're insufferable.

So basically you're "proving" to yourself that everyone is either racist or an asshole, by creating a situation where people don't want to listen to you because you're insufferable. But you can pretend to be virtuous because you're doing it for some make believe greater good about the word "whitelist."

BTW I'm actually trying to help you see the reason there's resistance. I use "allowlist" and "denylist" voluntarily in my OSS repos, because it doesn't really matter to me. But I still find people who make it their moral imperative to police these words insufferable. From my perspective, you either don't know that, which shows you have no tact, or you don't care, which shows that you're doing this in bad faith.