I understand you are content in the way you do things.
Just bear in mind that people elsewhere also want the same goals you have, and are happy with different ways to get those goals.
You want a safe place for my kids to play. I agree! Many people want that.
Your solution is a yard, which you need to maintain, or pay someone to maintain. Others live in housing complex with plenty of yard space, or live close by to parks, where someone else takes care of the grounds.
You don't want to deal with crowds, so you don't care if you don't live within walking distance of functional parks in the like. But this also means you're going to be driving your kids around a lot, since they can't walk to the park, or go to school, by themselves. (Even if they take the bus, they are stuck with a specific schedule, giving the less independence of movement.)
Which may be fine - I can understand how being in a car for a long time can be more calming for some than being around people for a short time!
You like to garden. Some housing complexes have community gardens, because their residents like to garden too. And there are community gardens which, at least in some places have space allotted by city (similar to how public parks work) so don't directly face market pressure and land rentals.
I've certainly been in apartment buildings with relatively private outside space where residents could entertain others, play with kids, read a book, work from home, and so on. And with its own private swimming pool, tennis courts, playgrounds, and so on.
I've visited https://www.cotaticohousing.org/ , with "cooperative living that combines private residences with extensive common facilities". They have a shared carpentry shop, eating/party area, and two spare guest apartments which can be booked for visitors.
My meaning is that there are many ways to get the goals you want, without the specific method you prefer.
Others in the US don't have the same crowd concerns you have. Yet for most part, they don't have the ability to live anywhere else, or have any experience to know what those alternatives might be!
> The fact that you have to rebuild the city is a pretty big drawback too...
If only you were around in the mid-20th century when the urban core of many US cities were torn down to rebuild for cars - maybe we would have more options now. But I guess your point is that since they made a bad decision then we can't change our minds now?
> This implies a high density of people.
It can also imply a medium density of people.