Indeed. Even disregarding all the legal and moral issues, just the mental image of trying to use this crap to simply park the car is hilarious. Imagine trying to swipe your credit card holding it with a flimsy stick perpendicular to the contact pad. Or trying to insert a paper parking ticket upon exiting parking in the tiny slot two meters far. Or getting a paper package from a drive-thru with easily a kilogram of food and drinks. Clown show. :)
I had to do a double check to see if I was actually reading an Onion article.
When you become a trillionaire asshole, you live in a parallel universe indistinguishable from satire because there are many fewer rules and limitations for you and you listen to less real feedback.
I was wondering if they had pulled off a wonderful April fools joke...
As an aside, The Onions video social media nowadays is on fire - they play the serious delivery of stupid stories far too well.