Ask HN: Wanna be programmer struggling with ADHD

This is mostly just to let off some steam, as I'm not sure much can be done about my situation. I'm a 20-year old Male, diagnosed with ADHD in my senior year of high school. School has always been a big struggle for me- I'm sure many of you can sympathize. Its difficult for me to pay attention to a subject unless I'm very interested in it, And even when I do manage to get focused on a subject i cannot control how focused I am going to get (I explain it by using a photo with a strong Depth Of Field even though they are all in the photo only certain parts are clear) My organizational skills are abysmal, as are my sense of time and ability to prioritize tasks. I used to mask my struggles out of shame and a desire to do well in school and make my parents proud, but even my greatest efforts did little more than keep my head above water. When I was finally diagnosed and put on medication, everything was SO much easier- for a while. Right now I'm a freshman in college, I feel like I'm drowning in the demands of homework, classes and work. I am completely exhausted and I'm falling further behind all the time. And I cant help but think and worry how I will be able to graduate I’m currently taking two programing classes and things are not going as planned I have been trying so hard, and I just don’t seem to get it. The idea’s make sense and are clear and I have to say, my teacher’s are pretty awesome but i can’t remember the stuff, i have been sitting on my books last night for well over 2 hours reading these two pages they made sense and all but when it came to the highlight I couldn’t seem to pull the two strings together, I’ve had private tutors but they helped very little since understanding is not an issue here I am a total computer geek and I know quite a little bit of JS/HTML/VB and I have books on all of them, but I cant actually “do it” and it shatters me every time I’d love to know them but I can’t, nothing I’ve tried worked I am so worried that this semester, I won't make it into my major, either. I'm so overwhelmed and frustrated; I just want to plop down on the floor and cry. I hate that I'm ADHD. Accomplishing anything seems to be 10 times harder for me than it is for anyone around me. I watch all these people my age accomplishing all the goals I have for myself, and I'm so angry at myself that I can't do it too. I just don't know how to go about fixing this. And I'm tired and overwhelmed and stressed beyond belief.

Thanks so much for reading this rent and if you have any ideas suggestions please let me know ---David