What I want most is to tie this into my phone (iPhone but willing to swap if there really is not an app for that)

I assume this should be easy but I don't knwo how

have all my contacts sync'd to gmail (doable) have all my mails to a contact tracked (standard email functionality, plus seems to be what this post is about) have all my calls to from a contact not only kept on my phone but also exported and synched Ba k to this crm bonus points for an app that let's me add notes after a call and syncs those too

amazingly enough I had this on an old nokia n95 back in the day.