- I like who I am when I'm sober, and don't expect that I would like 'drunk me'.
- I like being in full control over what I experience and how I experience it.
- I also enjoy remembering (and not regretting) those experiences.
When I'm sober I feel simultaneously manic and under-stimulated. I tend to exhibit uncooperative or argumentative behavior. This leads me to avoid others and isolate because I don't want them to get mad or dislike me. I have a hard time shutting my mouth. I'm so tired of playing the game of socializing, most people have nothing interesting or unpredictable to say or talk about.
When I'm drunk, I'm actually nice and can lie to kick it. I'm genuinely more loving, forgiving, and fun-loving.
- I like who I am when I'm drunk, and I don't like sober me
- I don't feel a loss of control and my experiences are better when I am able to let go of pretension and disappointment.
- I remember everything that happens to me, at worst I forget a non-important conversation
I would argue you like the illusion of being in control, not that you are actually in control of anything.
Some of the greatest decisions of my life were made after a few drinks (Such as booking flights to other countries, hooking up with people, making lifelong friends). Sometimes our rational, thinking minds aren't as smart as they think they are, and a measured amount of unpredictability can make life better. Of course it's a double edged sword, and has a dark side, but things would be pretty uninteresting if you never had any regrets.
It's worth calling out that meditation can (sometimes, depending on the form) lead to a similar headspace.
Could you elaborate about not how you aren't really any more in control when sober? I feel that you're making an interesting argument, but I don't really share your perspective well enough to understand what you mean.
My aversion to alcohol largely comes from wanting my best judgement intact in order to better survive complex situations. When you talk about the positives of taking more risks, my immediate response is that you should learn to take more risks when sober, rather than dulling yourself so you blindly stumble into them. But I also think I'm not fully appreciating your point.
Not the person you responded to, but I can give it a shot.
I think the crux is that you don't have as much control as you think you do, even when sober. Whether you realize it or not, you're still at the whims of yourself and environment: emotions, time of day, exhaustion, pressure. You can't think or analyze yourself out of that. So sure, you may take more risks when drinking, but so what? Do what feels right in the moment.*
* Y'know, within reason. Buying plane tickets = good, getting a forehead tattoo = bad.
> My aversion to alcohol largely comes from wanting my best judgement intact in order to better survive complex situations.
This really resonates with me, and it's something I'm actually try to minimize. I've been finding being present -- and not attempting to foresee and prepare for uncomfortable situations -- to be a much happier place to be. And should a scary situation arise, I trust my future self to handle it appropriately. Or he won't, and that's fine too!
> ... and don't expect that I would like 'drunk me'.
Have you ever tried being drunk? I wouldn't recommend it if you're fine the way you are, but OTOH, I think people don't actually understand unless they've tried it.
(I know that's kind of shitty, but ... that's life.)
Really it's just an easy excuse that doesn't need to be true because the fact remains that this person doesn't want to be a person who drinks and most won't question it.
It's also possible they get drunk quite easily.
It should be. But people tend to get real defensive around teetotalers, maybe because many of them are judgy and preachy because they don't drink for religious reasons.
It seems to me that in western cultures, ex-drinkers get a lot more respect than never-drinkers.
I grew up in a small white trash family who lived on an indian reservation. So I had front-row seats to all of the spectacular consequences of alcohol overindulgence, both in my own family and in my community.
Yeah, that certainly tainted my perspective on the pros and cons of drinking.
I'm humble and rational enough to acknowledge that me drinking would probably bring more negatives into my life than positives.
you're worried that alcohol would make you show it? :P