We also have 4-way stops but you don't actually stop entirely, that would be counterproductive wouldn't it. You "stop" (in a grey sense of the word), look left and right, then you go.
Legally, the 'grey' stop doesn't work. I have been given a ticket by a cop. Yes, it may work 90% of the time but if you get caught, you get 2 points (in NJ) and your insurance goes up.
Well, the problem is that you're in New Jersey. There's a reason it's called the California Stop.