Can somebody define what "emotional support" even is?
I have no clue what they are talking about.
From reading the article I would say men might need mentors who give them good advice and wisdom. That is what I felt I needed at times, anyway.
From reading the article I would say men might need mentors who give them good advice and wisdom. That is what I felt I needed at times, anyway.
And "Praise them when they ask for help. Encourage them to share their struggles — with you, of course, but also with other trusted adults, a therapist or even friends."
And the article is full of links like this: https://www.irp.wisc.edu/resource/involved-fathers-play-an-i...
which suggests:
- Positive engagement: Involved fathers directly interact with their children in positive ways, including caregiving such as changing diapers and shared activities that involve play.
- Accessibility: Involved fathers are available to their children even when not directly interacting, such as cooking while the child plays nearby.
- Responsibility: Involved fathers take ultimate responsibility for their child’s welfare and care, including participating in decision-making regarding child-rearing and ensuring that children’s needs are met.
Actual emotional support can take a lot of different forms. I'd say that it includes someone recognising the emotions you're having, not judging them, not stopping you from expressing them, and talking about the emotions afterwards if you're up for it.
I’m currently trying to teach my 4 year old daughter to swim, so this is very front-of-mind for me. If it was up to her, she would just splash around in the shallowest part by the steps without trying anything she’s afraid of, and she would never learn to swim. It takes gentle but insistent pushing from me to keep making progress. It’s a fine line—when I do it well, she tries new things and has a great time too. If I overdo it, she shuts down and won’t try anything else.
The emotions that make her hesitant are totally valid and natural, and I try to empathize with her and talk about them, but I also can’t overly indulge those feelings, because she needs to learn to push past them in order to gain an essential life skill. It’s tough.
There's not much space between emotional support and indulgence. Parents' anxieties fill that space tho :)
It is a very fine line but this part is probably not true. She's 4 years old and doesn't need to learn to swim, unless you really want an Olympic swimmer.
If she keeps going swimming in the shallow end, do you know what will happen? She will get bored and want different things (including deeper water).
I see this kind of thing frequently, kids work at a slower rhythm than parents and parents are still human and have limited time and patience.
If they see their parents swimming, the desire to try will come at some point. That's when the help should kick in, in my opinion.
Take toddlers and small kids swimming and let them do things at their own pace and then have them take professional lessons when they're old enough to really understand the benefits of swimming and why overcoming the fear of drowning is a valuable asset.
Apart from safety, I just know she'll enjoy water so much more in general after getting over the hump. I could be wrong, but my gut feeling is that the fear of going under is only going to get more ingrained if we wait, so it's better to do it now.
I actually wish we had been more consistent with taking her in the water from the time she was a baby. That seems to be the easiest path. Babies aren't aware enough to be afraid (it seems to kick in during early toddler-hood), so if you get them used to going under as a baby, then keep doing it regularly enough, you can avoid that fear ever developing in the first place.
Mentorship and emotional support can have significant overlap.