I think Helix made a good choice by building in LSP support and other things that would otherwise require extensions, and by having a "you don't really need it" policy for things like panes, which you can just do with tmux. And I think Neovim made a good choice by exporting a configuration/extension API in a very standard, commonplace extension language like Lua. I disagree that Neovim's Lua API is really a different language. It's just an API; Kakoune has one too, albeit of a more esoteric sort.
Incidentally, I started using Helix a month or two ago and I've been liking it a lot. Having the language server stuff already integrated is a fantastic convenience. I could probably switch to using hx exclusively if I really wanted, even with no extension system whatsoever. The only thing I want that they haven't implemented yet is easymotion jumps, and there's an MR for that already [0].