I'm glad you see this rationally. I don't understand at all how people see this as condescending. Why is it that in our society, people are offended by being asked to behave in an adult manner?
What irks me is that everyone thinks they're psychologists so they throw around clinical terms like "passive aggressive" which they have right to use. No more so than a layperson trying to sound intelligent by using terms like "exponential complexity"...