As a developer I use Android a lot. It's fine. I don't see what the big deal is.
"I want Apple to be forced into making the same choices that its competitors made because those competitors' devices are, collectively, a miserable hellscape," isn't the winning argument you seem to think it is.
Okay, so what's the point of what you said? For reference, you said:
>Good, switch to it for a couple of years, use multiple vendors and then let everyone know how Android is a viable alternative to iOS.
What, then, is the point of what you said? You seem to believe that Android is not a viable alternative to iOS. What specific actions do you believe Apple should be required to take here?