It's really just mental healthcare and dentistry that are basically impossible, but again, not much better with a private health plan.
Take the blinders off, stop pretending you're not getting robbed, and maybe we can fix it. There is no silver lining to private healthcare. You're not getting better care. Social determinants of health are very real, but they're driven by those 9 states without Medicaid expansion dragging the averages way down, a lifetime of bad care before the ACA, and also that medicine can't solve the many problems caused by poverty.
We would all be better off in literally any other system. Everyone thinks they're an above average driver. Everyone thinks they'll live longer than average. The truth is, you're just not that special. Unless you're a politician that gets to go to Walter Reed, or you have a wing in the hospital named after you, you're getting the abysmal standard of care that everyone gets.
At the same time, I was looking for a new dentist for myself and for this kid. There are a half dozen dentists who would see me within ten minutes walk. I finally found her a dentist some 20 minutes drive away (bonus: she can't drive).
And the mental health provider we found who would take Medicaid did intake for new patients on Friday mornings between 9am and 12 noon, no appointments, recommend you arrive early in order to be seen.
This is in WA.
For whatever bloody reason they just don't exist in anything near enough quantity.
Conversely, I'm surprised you found a dentist and a mental health provider that takes any insurance at all, and didn't have a months-long wait list. I've almost always had to self pay for both...