Ask HN: How do you build relationships in a place where you don't know anyone?

It doesn’t seem like it, but there’s a lot of people around you that feel the same way. You need to be the first mover to find them and make them your friends. Find some fun stuff that you would be interested in doing with friends and create Meetup events for those events. Things like bar trivia and karaoke are good starter events, but right now a lot of communities have great free outdoor events too.

Be a good host. Show up early, greet everyone, and make them all feel welcome. At subsequent events, go out of your way to continue making the new people who join welcome (even after you establish some “regulars”).

It will take some time and work, but if people can regularly come to expect a good time out with you, you’ll develop the community you seek. Eventually you’ll also have others to host events too, so the burden isn’t squarely on you.

Source: I knew nobody in my community a year ago then joined a meetup group where the organizer had done basically this formula. Now I have the closest friends of my life and a significant other from this group.

Try signing up for some volunteer work. By having a shared goal, it will become easy to build a relationship with those you work with to achieve that goal.

Surprisingly, gay "dating" apps are a great way to meet people, for even platonic social encounters. Besides the obvious, I've had countless people offer to answer questions for me, show me around, give me a place to chill with some cats, teach me the slang when I get homonyms wrong (heh), or two messages in will just invite me to come hang out with their random hodge podge of friends on a random night.

The inherent frankness/directness of the environment, combined with free text, tags, and search/filtering, all make this a more flexible tool than other more conventional non-quotation-mark dating apps.

You might want to check community centres. They typically have all sorts of short term classes and activities taking place. They involve lots of new people in the neighborhood, incorporate a wide range of ages, and it's a casual environment where people are mostly trying to get out of the house to socialize or stay active.

Another option is board game groups and cafes. You can easily drop in or sign up to take part, they encourage conversation as you play games or discuss rules, and the players will change all the time so there are always new people to meet.

It's easy to progress from the above environments to going out for drinks or having people over for dinner if you find connections and good conversation.

If available and interested, follow local courses like gardening or woodworking, and take initiative to meet up afterwards and share progress on the activity with them.

Building relationships in unfamiliar places can be challenging. One approach is to join local interest groups or use social apps to connect with like-minded individuals. Additionally, attending community events and being open to new experiences can help foster meaningful connections.

Good luck!

Set up a table for people to talk at every two weeks and advertise it online (in other words, a meetup). Repeat for a few months (the hardest part). You'll get somewhere.

Sign up for volunteer work, athletic events or groups, hobbyist groups, go on hikes, etc.

Activities give the excuse for and take the pressure off of socializing and meeting people.

Socioeconomically and culturally more specific than people tend to acknowledge.

Get a shitty guitar, learn how to make a power chord, find a friend who has drums, get the friend to play a beat, choose three power chords to rotate and start a punk band. My circle of friends has grown exponentially in the three years I've been doing this.

Join a sports team