With most high tech it's rather the other way around: the technology gets first used in the military and after some delay, the general public receives the tampered version to play with.
Useful list here for some of what you're looking for.
IMHO, there's nothing humane about indiscriminately lobbing large amounts of explosives at each other just because you don't have the technology to aim properly and strike more surgically, which are two things you might be able to do with AI. The Ukraine conflict is a stark reminder of how dehumanizing old school war can be. Scorched earth, lots of lives being lost, entire cities that get leveled to the ground.
Isn’t that asking them to surrender instantly to any military who keeps the research going?
Does that mean we can’t talk about it or raise questions? After all, it is hard to prevent nations acquiring nuclear weapons too, but there is a tremendous amount of effort spent trying, isn’t it?
Or perhaps AI can accurately determine the number of civilian casualties that can be had while staying below the threshold of public outrage.
Just spit balling here.