Federation makes it easier for users to join. If you don’t need that, there are plenty self-hosted alternatives. For example, HN itself.
These are the sorts of questions that come to mind for normal people. By the time they've asked this pile of questions they've already decided it's not worth the hassle of finding the answers
Case 1: Different website, create an account there.
Case 2: ActivityPub vision, search for !lobsters, click join
Case 3: ActivityPub now, go to website, copy URL into your own instance, search returns nothing, try again minutes later, join.
I fully agree that Lemmy is currently not easier (case 3). Users understand multiple accounts (case 1) but managing accounts, they do not. I belief eventually the Fediverse will be easiest (case 2).