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For all we know, these are the most popular names in OPs county.

Of course, OP is obviously in one of the many countries where Anglo-Jewish women and Hispanic men make up the majority of the population, especially of tech workers.

0xCAP appears to be in the EU (or at least at one point talked about something being priced in Euros). A quick glance at https://www.first-name.net/jessica and https://www.first-name.net/guillermo doesn't immediately turn up any country in which both 'Jessica' and 'Guillermo' seem reasonably common.

> use "Alice" and "Bob"

why are you using stereotypically white names? this is exclusionary!

> use "Jessica" and "Guillermo"

why are you using stereotypically nonwhite names? this is racist!

it's just impossible to win with you people isn't it?

Using stereotypically non-white names in an example of unqualified employees isn't exactly the pinnacle of inclusiveness.

The irony here is incredible. Diversity initiatives often replace traditional European or male names to suggest more kinds of people being involved. But you could tell that OP was being unrealistic.